Do you ever discover that something you say often is offensive?
Sometimes common phrases have a problematic origin.
Listen in to today’s episode as Lindsay and Aubrey help you navigate this situation.
You’ll learn phrases to avoid in English and details about why.
Raising awareness
Lindsay asks Aubrey if she has ever experienced saying something offensive without realizing it.
Aubrey responds she has experienced this when she was younger.
She used the word “jipped” to mean she got cheated or swindled.
She didn’t know it was offensive and would actually be spelled “gypped.”
She learned it was derived from the word “gypsy” which is a derogatory term.
When she realized this, she stopped using it.
Some may still say this, but if so they likely don’t know it’s offensive.
She read an article about this titled “Why Being ‘Gypped’ Hurts The Roma More Than It Hurts You.”
Here is a quick excerpt from it:
“I encounter a lot of people who tell me that they never knew the word ‘gypped’ had anything to do with gypsies, or that it’s offensive — especially when the word is heard not read,” says University of Texas at Austin professor Ian Hancock, who was born in Britain to Romani parents. “My response to them is, That’s okay. You didn’t know but now you do. So stop using it. It may mean nothing to you, but when we hear it, it still hurts.”
Why are offensive things said?
When offensive terms are used, the person using it may not realize it’s derogatory.
In today’s episode, Lindsay and Aubrey answer a question from a listener.
Hey gals from AEE. I hope this email finds you well. I heard this expression (long time no see) while watching movies and TV series. But it’s quite hard to know if you guys use these kinds of expressions during everyday life/conversations. Can you give me a hand with this?
Thanks in advance.
Best,
João de Sousa Luz – Brazil
Lindsay shares that she says “long time no see” when she hasn’t seen someone in awhile and is excited to see them.
Aubrey then shares that when she researched the phrase for today’s episode, she discovered that the phrase “long time no see” has a problematic history.
One thing she saw was the University of California, Riverside’s “Inclusive Language” document.
What makes a phrase offensive?
Many phrases are considered offensive due to their origin.
Lindsay and Aubrey share other phrases that could be considered offensive.
They will also teach alternatives to these phrases.
#1: Long Time No See
This phrase is used to indicate that significant time has passed.
When used originally, “long time no see” mimicked and denigrated Chinese or Native American speech patterns.
#2: No Can Do
This phrase is often used to mean “I can’t do that,” but originally emerged in the nineteenth century.
Similar to the previous expression, it mocked Chinese or Native American speech patterns in English.
Should you avoid these phrases?
Lindsay and Aubrey discuss whether these phrases should be avoided.
The following is recommended by the University of California:
“Actively avoiding language with racist, ableist, or sexist origins is one way to promote an inclusive environment. While it is impossible to strip all of our language of negative connotations, it is possible to be mindful of how seemingly innocuous language can be exclusive and demeaning to others.”
This is controversial in the U.S.
Many people dislike “woke culture” and would frown on discouraging these phrases.
It can be helpful to learn the origins of the things we say and once we are aware we can shift to using other words.
It is not usually recommended to call out someone who is unaware of the origin of derogatory phrases.
You don’t want to break connections when the use of the phrase is due to ignorance.
However, we recommend avoiding these phrases once you know their origin.
Phrases to use instead
Here are other phrases you can say to indicate you haven’t seen someone in a long time.
- It’s been a while.
- It’s been ages!
- I haven’t seen you in so long.
- Wow, it’s been forever!
- It’s been a minute. (very informal, American)
- I can’t believe how long it’s been.
- Where have you been hiding?
Click here for part 2 with alternatives for “no can do.”
Takeaway
The language you use can affect your connection with others.
Many phrases we use casually are learned without context, and often without any intention to offend.
The important part is awareness.
Once we learn that a word or phrase has harmful roots, we’re given a choice: stay the same, or do a little better moving forward.
Choosing more inclusive language helps us protect relationships, especially in professional and cross-cultural settings.
You don’t need to shame others or call them out harshly.
You can simply adjust your own words and create a more respectful and welcoming environment.
If you’d like more examples of phrases to avoid and what to say instead, check out our other podcast episodes.
For example, listen to BE 165: Business English Idioms to Avoid at Work.
This episode provides polite, professional alternatives to expressions like “no can do.”
Have you heard English speakers use these phrases?
We love hearing from you in the comments below.
