AEE 1140: How to Add Nuance When You Disagree in English

Do you ever want to disagree with what somebody is saying in an English conversation?

Do you feel unsure of how to bring about that doubt or disagreement in English?

Do you want to get your point across but not come off as rude?

This is a common scenario, and today we’re going to look at how to express this in the right way with the perfect phrases.

Getting Your Point Across Without Being Rude

Do you think it’s hard to tell someone that what they are saying may not be correct?

How can you do this without coming off as rude or impolite?

This can be tough and uncomfortable.

You will often find that in these situations there is one word that can be really helpful and will get your point across.

That word is necessarily–specifically in a negative way for the purpose of what we’re talking about.

You  may use this word with “not necessarily” or “not/isn’t/wasn’t/don’t/doesn’t necessarily” depending on the context of the sentence in conversation.

When you use this word in this manner it means–not 100 percent.

It’s not a definite, and so it leaves room for questioning or a second guess so to speak.

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Using It In Conversation

So how can you use it?

You want to be sure that you put just the right emphasis on this word and its usage in a sentence.

You also want to be sure that you use it properly for the best effect.

Here are some examples for you to get an idea of the context.

  • ”I know you want to visit in March, but that’s not necessarily the best time. It can still snow!”
  • “Just because that party starts at 12 doesn’t necessarily mean everyone will get there then.”
  • “I don’t necessarily think eating at 8 is the best idea for the kids. Don’t you think they would rather eat a bit earlier?”

This can be used to tell someone their idea MAY not be the best.

It can also just be used to say something isn’t 100 percent, and therefore you leave a bit of doubt to their assumption.

Other Ways To Say This Same Thing

Sometimes you want to say this sort of thing, but perhaps in a different way.

What are some other ways to say this?

  • May not be/mean/maybe not: You are leaving that little bit of doubt with what is being said. You aren’t coming out and being rude about it, but you are definitely getting your point across. “You’re right–we need to take a cab, but that may not be the best way to get a ride at that time unless we make a reservation.”
  • Not for sure/definite: You know that there’s a possibility that this is not a definite or uncertain. You are leaving room for error or for a second guess. “Yes, it usually does cost 10 bucks to take the train but it’s not for sure–it depends on the hour.”
  • Not always the case: Though something may happen often, it may not be an absolute certainty. This is precisely why you don’t assume things. “I know you did your homework this time but that’s not always the case.”

Sometimes you can use these phrases just by themselves or on their own–ESPECIALLY not necessarily.

Whether standalone or in a sentence, these phrases can work quite well.

Takeaway

The word necessarily is a great way to soften when you are saying something that may or may not be true–especially when you are saying it to someone else and not just generally.

You can just disagree or say they are wrong, but that may be impolite.

This helps to soften things and yet get your point across, so it can be very powerful.

This is a great way to avoid breaking the connection–and that’s what it’s all about.

If you have any questions, please leave them below in the comments section.

We’ll get back to you as soon as we can.