In today’s episode you’ll find out how to become free when it becomes to your fear of rejection so that you can start more English conversations and accomplish anything you want in life.
Today we are honored to have an exciting guest on the show!
Jia Jiang is a sought after TEDx speaker and author of “100 Days of Rejection.”
He did an experiment where he tried to get rejected every day for 100 days and today he will tell us what he learned and what it means for us.
Why did he do this experiment?
He felt that fear of rejection was holding him back from accomplishing his life dreams.
Then one day his business proposal was rejected so he decided to go out and try to get rejected every day for 100 days.
He asked for free food re-fills.
He asked to have a special doughnut made in a unique shape.
He asked to play soccer in a stranger’s backyard.
His goal was to get over the fear of rejection but he found that a lot of people started to say yes to him.
Jia found that the fear of rejection was worse than rejection.
He started to have the mentality of having fun and letting the world reject him.
Next he started to experiment on how to get a “yes.”
He wanted to know if there was anything he could do to turn around a “no” and negotiate to get a “yes.”
“We think we are the center of the universe. We think that everyone is looking at us, judging us, everything we say, that’s why we are so afraid.
Somehow (we think) we have to perform and make sure people like us.
The thing is, it’s that type of mentality that really holds you back.
If you want to speak English, the only way to do it is to go out and speak.”
-Jia Jiang
Three things you can do to become “rejection proof”:
- Go look for rejection: What if you turn your fear of rejection on its head and go look for it? Jia asks, “Is it still scary?” What if you tried to exaggerate your foreign accent? Try to speak like someone who just barely learned English and see how people react. Most people will be very nice to you.
- Do something weird: Ask for something strange. Go to Starbucks and when you order a coffee, ask for a discount. Say, “Can I get a 20% discount?” Try to negotiate. Offer to write them a great review. Offer to pay for the next person in front of you. Come up with ways to chat. You’ll find that behind the counter is a human being. You’ll learn that rejection says more about that person than you.
- Ask “how”: Instead of asking, “Can I get a 15% discount?” ask “How can I get a 15% discount.” This invites the other person to help you. Most people are nice and they want to help. They are scared to say no. They don’t want to feel bad about saying no. State your motivation and ask them how they can help you make something happen. For example, “How can we practice English together?”
Jia’s Bio:
Jia is the founder and CEO of Wuju Learning, a company that trains organizations to become fearless through rejection training. He is also known as the Rejection Guy.
Jia’s story started when several years after his career in the corporate world, he took a risk and stepped into the unknown world of entrepreneurship, which resulted in everyone’s biggest fear…REJECTION.
This became the catalyst that set Jia on the path to his true calling. To conquer the fear of rejection, Jia embarked on a personal quest and started a video blog to face 100 Days of Rejection. His journey revealed a world that was hidden in plain sight, a world where rejection can become an advantage instead of a setback, and where there are opportunities behind every rejection. It has become Jia’s mission to help others to discover that world for themselves.
Jia is the author of the bestselling book Rejection Proof, How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection. Jia holds a Bachelor of Computer Science from Brigham Young University and a Master of Business Administration from Duke University.
What have you done to get over your fear of rejection?
Let us know in the comments below.