Lindsay McMahon
"The English Adventurer"
Jessica Beck
"Director of IELTS Training"

Today you’ll learn why examiners want to read Renata’s essay for IELTS Task 2.

Renata is this month’s Writing Wizard Winner and is going to take her exam next month.

She is intending to apply for Canadian immigration, so she needs Listening 8 and band 7 in everything else.

Renata has already taken the exam once, but her Writing score was half a band lower than what she needed.

Subsequent to this, she lost her motivation to study for awhile.

However, she realized that she needed to get her life on track and continue seeking her dream of immigrating to North America.

So, that’s why she enrolled in 3 Keys IELTS

Renata notes that she has learned exactly what she was doing wrong in her essays.

Before learning how to structure her essays, she was too verbose. In fact, she’d have one paragraph go on for almost a whole page.

We can’t do that in IELTS. You must have a structure to follow and not try and ‘prove yourself‘.

By ‘prove yourself’. I mean that you cannot try include all your ideas, no matter how intelligent. Too many ideas leads to lower scores.

In Renata’s essay feedback, she received comments about some sentence structures and punctuation, as punctuation in Portuguese is very different than in English.


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One reason her essay stood out in a positive way, however, was her incredible vocabulary:

Habits are imprinted on us when we are young, and the resulting value formed, even if not shared by most, endures for life.

Another reason why she won was how specific and strong her ideas were.

This month’s question was:

Many are of the opinion that hunting is an outdated practice and should be banned.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although this might seem like an odd topic, Renata pulled parts of her own life to put in the essay.

Renata’s supporting example:

In the past few decades, online games have exponentially multiplied to the point that there are now several e-sports which can emulate the excitement of primitive life. In Tokyo, for example, one of the biggest attractions is a 3D game center that allows people to experience the fear of being chased by dinosaurs. With modern tools, pursuing and killing has become digital.

Lastly, Renata’s advice is to trust templates, and save time to check your writing.

Click here to sign up for your free IELTS Video Masterclass!


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