AEE 1157: Don’t Ask for Permission to Go Deeper in English

Do you have the desire to have deeper conversations in English with native speakers?

Do you want to talk about hot topics but feel unsure of how to do that? Are you tired of staying on the surface with your English?

We’re going to show you three steps to help you to do just that so that you can be prepared and initiate these conversations.

Here’s a letter from our student Hitoko who complete the Connected Communicator course and then traveled to California to meet some friends and was able to dive into those more interesting conversation topics on a deeper level.

Hi ladies,

When I started Secrets of the Connected Communicator, I wasn’t so sure that I would be able to learn how to really connect and talk to people in English. However I’m very impressed with how I am able to bring up topics like gun control, LGBT rights, homelessness, and so much more.

During my trip to California to meet my friends I could go deeper and take things beyond just the surface. I could talk about things in English and have adult conversations. They even praised me that I could go deeper in these topics in English. It was really great!

Hitoko

Going Deeper Should Be A Goal

You can have the surface conversations, and they have their place.

You want to take it one step further though because this is where the true substance exists.

The goal is to help you go deeper in learning English.

We want you to go deeper into the real topics in English–the ones that have true substance to them.

It’s talking about what’s going on within the US, but also within your home country and across the world.

We’re driving you towards Connection NOT Perfection, because that’s what we’re all about.

We want you to see that all the hard work gets you to where you want to be.

3 Step Process To Help You To Get Into These Deeper Conversations

There is a strategy to help you to get there.

The course is helpful, but there is more to it as well.

These three steps will help you to prepare and initiate these important conversations.

  1. Taking in information: We need the ideas and the knowledge on these topics. You need to understand the issues at hand so that you understand the basics. You want to be sure that you are aware of what the topics are and take in as much information as you can on them. You could use the course, but you could also take it one step further too. Gathering ideas can come from so many different places, so get creative and use whatever resources that you can to gain insight and information.
  2. Consider what you are going to bring to this: You need the knowledge to initiate the conversation. Where you really connect though is bringing in your own culture. Look at how this affects things in your own country and consider the why to this. If you don’t have a lot of homeless people in your home country then you may not understand that. However you want to think through why it is that this may not be an issue there when it is there. This is the second step of preparation for digging deeper and creating conversations full of substance.
  3. The mindset of initiation: This is a vital piece to this and you must have it. You have to be the one to bring up these topics and not just wait for somebody else to. If you are talking to a native speaker, then they may not know if you are interested or able to have conversations on such topics. You must be the one to initiate conversations on these hot topics. Once you have the information and the tools from steps 1 and 2, then you be the one to initiate the conversations. Don’t wait for permission, but rather be the one to get things started.

The first two steps are for preparation, and this matters greatly.

The final step is for initiation, and you have to be able to do that and know what to say in order to make this happen.

How Do You Get Things Started

If you have the information and you want to get things started, then you may feel a bit unsure of how to do that.

You want to lead in with the right approach and the best phrases, so that it shows that you know what you’re talking about.

You want to be sure that you get the attention of the listener, and therefore embark on a conversation with substance.

Here are some phrases to use to initiate such a conversation that can work well and allow you to be comfortable.

  • I’ve been thinking about: You are showing that this is on your mind and therefore you are leading them into this conversation. You want to let them know that you are aware of something and that you have given it thought. This puts the other person at ease in having such a conversation with you.
  • Okay so I read this fascinating article or I heard something on this show: You show that you have done your research here and that you know what you are talking about. This may actually help to put you both on the same page as you may have a connection over the source of what you saw or read.
  • What are your thoughts on? You are opening up the conversation to them to learn more about what they think. You are showing interest, but you are also able to follow up with some insight on your part. It’s the perfect way to get things started.
  • I heard this fascinating podcast….what are your thoughts on ____? You help to find an instant connection if they listen to the same podcast. You also help to convey that you have thoughts on something, but that you want to hear their thoughts first.
  • I don’t want to get too heavy here, but I wanted to ask you ______: It allows for a certain comfort level which is nice. It also helps you to show that you want to bring up a topic that is actually important and meaningful, but you don’t want to bring things down. It’s a great lead into things.

All of these phrases can help to set the right tone and get the conversation going.

This is how you lead into the heavier topics, but the important ones that you really want to talk about.

Takeaway

You want to be able to talk about the topics that are important.

You want your conversations to have substance to them, and this is how to make that happen.

You want to do your prep work through the first two steps, and then you want to be ready and able to initiate the conversation.

These steps will help you to do that, and then you can really enjoy some great conversations.

This is an important and really helpful way of making connections, which is what it’s all about.

If you want to go through the same online course that Hitoko completed to gain these skills go here to get in now.

If you have any questions, please leave them below in the comments section.

We’ll get back to you as soon as we can.