What do you say when you’re in a rush and someone is giving a long-winded answer to your question?
You may sound impolite if you ask them to give you a brief answer.
Listen in today as Lindsay and Aubrey share tips on how to handle this.
This will help you get quick answers while keeping the connection.
Short answers to questions
Aubrey asks Lindsay if she would say, “I just need a yes or no answer.”
Lindsay says she tries not to say this because it implies impatience and irritation.
A phrase like this can hurt your connection with colleagues.
Today’s question
Today’s episode is inspired by a student’s question in one of our weekly Q&A sessions.
A student asked if it’s rude to say, “I just need a yes or no answer.”
Aubrey confirms that it is rude because this phrase implies criticism.
It might imply that someone didn’t understand what you needed or their answer is too long-winded.
It can be tempting to say, “I just need a yes or no answer” when you’re in a rush.
It’s vital to be aware when the expressions you’re using are impolite or too aggressive.
Avoid saying this in order to not break the connection.
When this phrase is acceptable
There will be times when the phrase “I just need a yes or no answer” is appropriate.
In court a lawyer may say, “Please just answer yes or no.”
You may also use it in casual situations with friends when being funny or sarcastic.
If you ask someone if they want to go to lunch or happy hour and they give a roundabout answer you could say, “Okay, a simple yes or no would do!”
When to avoid this phrase
You should definitely avoid saying the phrase “I just need a yes or no answer” at work when being sincere.
If you ask someone if they liked your presentation and they give a roundabout answer, they’re likeky trying to be polite.
You wouldn’t want to say, “Okay, a simple yes or no would do!”
Aubrey asked AI to provide polite alternatives and it wasn’t helpful.
One of the options given was “Could you just let me know with a quick yes or no?”
This is still a very rude thing to say as it implies impatience and criticism.
AI may change the phrasing but not understand politeness and nuance.
Polite confirmations
Here are more polite way to ask someone to make their answers direct and to the point.
Sorry, I actually just need to know [state what you need to know about].
I actually just need your opinion on [state what you need to know about].
This is less direct and sharp to hear.
However, when Aubrey tried to put a roleplay together using these phrases, they still sounded rude.
She concluded that it’s better to eliminate saying to someone that you need just a direct answer.
However it is worded, it is impolite to directly ask for a more brief response.
It can also be rude to point out that someone didn’t provide the answer to your question.
Here are mini roleplays for you to get an idea of how you can handle this situation.
The first roleplay is slightly rude and the second one will show you the more polite option.
Rude example:
Lindsay: Would you like me to arrive early for the event?
Aubrey: Well, we’re setting up at 8 but Tom, Marie and Jane will be there to help. We do have to set up tables and put up the posters AND pick up all the prizes.
Lindsay: Sorry, I actually just need to know if you need me there early.
Polite example:
Lindsay: Would you like me to arrive early for the event?
Aubrey: Well, we’re setting up at 8 but Tom, Marie and Jane will be there to help. We do have to set up tables and put up the posters AND pick up all the prizes.
Lindsay: Sorry to interrupt but I have to run. It sounds like you’re covered so I won’t plan on being there early, but let me know if that changes.
Polite structure
Here are three tips from Lindsay and Aubrey on what you can do to make sure that you get the answer you need without wasting your time and breaking the connection.
These tips will help you say what you need to say without breaking the connection between you and your colleagues at work:
#1: Interrupt and ask a clarification question
If someone is providing a roundabout answer, you can interrupt and clarify.
When you interrupt, you need to explain why you are still being very respectful.
Mini roleplay
Lindsay: Did the quarterly report get sent to the client yesterday?
Aubrey: Well, I reviewed it again just to make sure everything was aligned with the updated metrics, and then I made a few minor tweaks to the formatting. I was also double-checking the numbers from Finance, because last quarter we had a couple of discrepancies…
Lindsay: Sorry, just to clarify, has it been sent? I just need to know timing for when I should follow up with them.
#2: Say you’ll consider what they said
Instead of insisting on a yes or no or an opinion, tell them you’ll consider what they did say.
This can help them make a decision without sounding too pushy.
Mini roleplay
Aubrey: I think we should highlight the competitor’s recent losses in our presentation. That might really strengthen our case. Do you agree?
Lindsay: Hmm… I see where you’re coming from. That might really resonate with the board. There is a risk, though, that focusing on their losses could come off as too aggressive.
Aubrey: Fair point. I’ll think about it and decide.
#3: Accept what is inferred
This tip shows that you care about the answer of the person you’re talking to.
There are times, you can get an assumption from their answer.
So you can articulate it and confirm if that’s what they meant instead of responding with an implication they didn’t give you a direct answer.
Mini roleplay
Lindsay: Just checking – have you sent the proposal to the client yet?
Aubrey: So I’ve been finalizing the last few numbers, and I was also thinking about tweaking the intro section slightly to better align with their latest feedback. I was just about to send it, but then I got pulled into a call, and now I’m rethinking whether we should hold off until legal takes a final look…
Lindsay: Gotcha. Love the idea of adjusting the intro and having legal take a final look. Can you have that done and send it tomorrow EOD?
Takeaway
The phrase “I just need a yes or no answer” is rude and critical.
Avoid it and instead use today’s tips from Lindsay and Aubrey.
Even if you’re in a rush or need a straight answer, remember to prioritize relationships.
Since you all work together, you don’t want to break any connections.
You want to remain respectful and professional.
Communicate well with every colleague and don’t make them feel that they are not responding to you correctly.
Today’s more polite options will help you address any long-winded answers with finesse and care.
What are other phrases and expressions that you use in the workplace to make sure you’re communicating in a professional manner?
We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
