Have you encountered a rude coworker?
It can be difficult to know how to handle it.
Today you’ll learn vocabulary to deal with this difficult situation at work.
Rudeness in the workplace
Aubrey asks Lindsay if she ever had a coworker that has been really rude to her.
Lindsay answered she hasn’t experienced that recently.
She did have an experience in Tokyo where she clashed a bit with other native speaking teachers.
Aubrey shares that she definitely has encountered a rude coworker.
It was a specific teacher when she worked in the Bronx.
This teacher lacked some social skills and often came off as rude to people.
Today’s episode has been inspired by a listener’s question.
Today’s question
Hi, All Ears Business English podcast team. My name is Lucy and thank you so much for your wonderful podcast. I have a complicated situation at work, which I wonder if you could help me with. I have a coworker. I am his supervisor. He says rude things about others or me very casually.
He would say things such as, “I don’t think Adam is that good”, or “I should have applied for your position”, or “This project is really time consuming and it’s not even our job” because he says these things very casually.
It’s hard to stop him at that moment, but I think I should say something. I don’t want to say it too directly, such as what you say can come across as rude since he can take it personally. Do you have any tips or phrases I can use.
All the best,
Lucy
Stay professional
Lucy is in a very difficult situation.
When something like this at work comes up, you want to retain professionalism.
You usually should not call out a coworker the moment something rude is said.
Instead, sit down with them after the conversation so they know you find what they said offensive.
Lindsay and Aubrey share 3 tips to know how to handle this when it happens to you at work.
Whether or not you are confrontational, these tips can help you respond to difficult coworkers.
#1: Turn it around
You can turn the situation around by saying something positive when your coworker is saying mean things about a person.
This is a good opportunity to stop this kind of behavior with positivity.
Mini roleplay:
Aubrey: I don’t think Adam is that good at his job.
Lindsay: Really? I was impressed by his work on the last project.
Aubrey: Oh, good to know. I didn’t work with him on that. Maybe I should cut him some slack.
#2: Politely disagree
Just like Lucy’s example, it’s wise to politely disagree.
If someone is criticizing or judging work ethics, you can use a concession.
This is agreeing to a certain part of what they’re saying to soften your disagreement afterwards.
Mini roleplay:
Lindsay: This project is really time-consuming and it’s not even our job.
Aubrey: It is taking a lot of time, but I’m excited to be working on it. I’ve always enjoyed a challenge.
#3: Set them straight
If the other tips aren’t working, you can be direct and mention that you find what they’re doing or saying unacceptable.
They may have a misunderstanding of some kind and it’s important you help them know the truth of the situation.
You can be very direct and clear but there is also a lighthearted phrase you can use:
- “Wow! Tell me how you really feel.”
This phrase makes them feel that they are saying something too intense or rude.
This is an informal phrase so it won’t be appropriate in every situation.
Reserve it for those you know well and make sure you’re using the right tone.
You wouldn’t want to humiliate them.
Ideally, use this phrase when no one else is present.
Mini roleplay:
Lindsay: Wow, I should have applied for your position.
Aubrey: Wow! Tell me how you really feel.
Lindsay: Nothing against you. I just think I’d do a good job in that role.
Aubrey: I guess we’ll never know.
Takeaway
For anyone in a situation like this, give some thought to the context of the situation.
What kind of leader do you want to be and how do you want to handle rudeness?
Often it’s best to not respond.
Always be sure to document inappropriate or rude behavior.
It may be necessary to report the situation to HR.
You shouldn’t have to put up with insults and rude comments.
Use the tips and language shared in today’s video to ensure you’re not being mistreated at work.
Have you ever encountered rudeness from a coworker?
Share the story with us and how you handled it in the comments below.
