How do you know when to use the pronouns ‘she and I’ versus ‘her and me?’
Today get simple and actionable grammar tips for this mistake that natives often make.
We’ll help you figure out the difference so you can keep the connection.
Grammar confusion
Aubrey asks Lindsay what she thinks is the most common grammar error made by native English speakers.
Lindsay’s answer is the use of pronouns.
It can be confusing since native speakers make so many mistakes.
In today’s episode, Aubrey and Lindsay will clarify this confusion.
Today’s episode is the answer to a two-part question sent by a listener.
Asami sent a question which was read in episode AEE 2085: How English Grammar and Politeness Go Hand in Hand.
You can check out how Lindsay and Aubrey answered the first half of Asami’s question about grammar.
It was about pronoun order and how you can show politeness in a conversation.
Today’s question
Today we answer the second half of her question.
When it comes to ‘she’, I would often hear Jessica say ‘her and I.’ Do you say ‘her’ instead of ‘she’ and ‘him’ instead of ‘he’ as a subject? Like, ‘You, her, and I are going to see a movie’, is that right? Does that sound right to you? It would be great if you could clarify that.
Asami
What pronouns to use?
Pronoun use can be very tricky.
The short answer is it depends on whether a pronoun is being used as a subject or an object.
It can be difficult and time-consuming to figure this out in a sentence.
Today you’ll learn two pro tips that will save you time and simplify this grammar.
#1: Subject pronouns at the beginning
Subject pronouns are usually at the beginning of sentences.
These are the pronouns ‘I’, ‘she’, ‘he’, and ‘they.’
They are almost always found at the beginning of sentences as the subject.
Example:
She and I went to the movies.
#2: Object pronouns at the end
Object pronouns are usually at the end of sentences.
These are the pronouns ‘me’, ‘her’, ‘him’, and ‘them.’
Example:
He came to the movies with her and me.
A common mistake
You may hear native English speakers make mistakes with this.
It is usually due to their regional dialect.
An example of a common mistake is “They came to the party with her and I.”
The mistake here is using the subject pronoun ‘I’ when it should be ‘me.’
- Correct: “They came to the party with her and me.”
Another common mistake is “Me and her went to the mall.”
In this sentence, the object pronouns ‘me’ and ‘her’ are used incorrectly.
Instead, subject pronouns are needed here.
- Correct: “She and I went to the mall.’
Exceptions
There are usually exceptions to any guideline.
One exception to this is when there is an implied subject.
In this case, a subject pronoun may come at the end of a sentence.
- Incorrect: “She is taller than me.“
This is grammatically incorrect because the meaning of the sentence is ‘She is taller than I am.’
- Correct: She is taller than I.
Avoid correcting
What do you do when you hear someone say this incorrectly?
Many native English speakers make this mistake due to regional dialect.
This is what they are used to hearing and saying.
They may not realize it is an error.
Alternatively, they may realize it is an error and still choose to say what is common in the regional dialect.
Lindsay and Aubrey both say they say, “She is taller than me” even though they know it is incorrect grammar.
This is because it is common in their regional dialects.
Avoid correcting someone’s grammar so you don’t break the connection.
What matters is that you understand what they are trying to say.
Perfection often needs to be sacrificed in order to make a connection!
Diagramming pronouns
You may have heard a tip that you should remove some or all of the pronouns in a sentence and see if it makes sense.
Here is an example:
She and I went to the movies.
He came to the movies with her and me.
You can remove either of the pronouns, and the sentence would still make sense.
She went to the movies.
I went to the movies.
He came to the movies with her.
He came to the movies with me.However, this can cause confusion if there is an irregular verb in the sentence.
Here is an example:
You, her, and I are going to see a movie.
In this example, you have to remember to change the verb to a single subject when you take away one or two of the pronouns.
This is a much more complex tip.
This is why Aubrey and Lindsay offer today’s simple tips.
In most cases, you’ll find subject pronouns at the beginning of sentences and object pronouns at the end.
Roleplay
Lindsay and Aubrey share a roleplay using the grammar tips in today’s episode.
In this scenario, Lindsay and Aubrey spend time on a boat in a lake.
Aubrey: Who do I need to reimburse for the boat? You and Kim reserved it, right? Did you already pay in full?
Lindsay: Oh yeah. She and I split it so we’ll figure out whether to Venmo her or me.
Aubrey: Awesome! Thanks for doing that. This was such a fun day. Was it Kim’s idea?
Lindsay: No, actually Mark and Matt started planning it and told her and me about it and then we helped out.Notice that in this roleplay the subject pronouns are always at the beginning and object pronouns are at the end.
Takeaway
Understanding the grammar structure of the English language can really be confusing.
It is especially confusing when native speakers make mistakes!
It can be intimidating and time-consuming to diagram sentences.
Today’s pro tips will help you overcome this grammar challenge.
Don’t let grammar keep you from continuing to learn English and bringing your skills to a higher level.
Rather than stressing about perfection, seek to connect with other English speakers!
What other tricky grammar lessons do you want to learn?
Share one in the comments below.
