Are you good at keeping in touch with others?
Do you feel that sometimes you lose touch without meaning to?
If you have trouble keeping in touch with people, you are not alone.
If you want to become fluent in English and maintain your connections, you need to be able to talk about this topic.
We’re going to look at why this matters, how you can address this in conversation, and how you can be better at this moving forward in your life.
Get Your Transcripts Today!
Make sure you understand every word you hear on All Ears English.
Bring your English to the advanced level with new vocabulary and natural expressions.
Subscribe and get the transcripts delivered by email.
Learn to speak naturally with the American accent.
Click here to subscribe and save 50%
Background On Why This Matters
You might wonder why it matters so much if you keep in touch with people or not.
It’s easy to lose touch with somebody because we all get busy.
It matters to people though, and so keeping in touch is something important to be aware of and talk about.
Recently we did an episode about how to get in touch with someone you haven’t spoken to in a while and the best way to connect.
That was Episode AEE 1272: How to Keep the Important People in Your Life
In that episode, another idea came up about keeping up with people that are important to you.
It’s all about honesty and being able to admit a fault that you had in your habits or your actions.
It may just be part of your personality that you have a hard time keeping up with people who aren’t in your everyday life.
Why is it important to be honest about this?
You have to know yourself and if you’re up front with others, then they may not get upset because you’ve warned them.
If you’re not good about keeping in touch with people, then be honest about it–but then focus on the ways to try and fix that!
Reflect On Why You’re Not Good At This
So when you are honest and you recognize that you’re not good at keeping in touch, you want to think about why exactly that is.
It may be part of your personality, it may be something that you just haven’t made a priority, or you may have never really thought about this.
It matters to others in your life, and so reflecting upon this in your life can make a huge difference in your relationships.
So start off by thinking through why you aren’t good at keeping in touch.
- Are you busy? Do you have a lot going on in your life? If you are trying to juggle work, kids, or any other number of responsibilities, then it can be tough. Though everyone is busy sometimes life and all of its responsibilities can get in the way.
- Are you not good with technology? For some people the idea of keeping in touch via email, text, or even phone can be overwhelming. If you happen to be one of those people who aren’t great with technology, then it can be challenging to keep in touch with people. You may have the desire but not know how to pull it off.
- Are you forgetful? Even if you try to remember to call or keep up with the communication, you might forget. Some people are just forgetful and though they don’t mean any harm, this can make keeping in touch with people difficult.
- Are you stressed? If you are under a lot of stress, this might take up most of your time and focus. If you have a lot of stress, then just be honest about this. Then you spare people’s feelings and you don’t look as if you don’t care.
- Are you going through a big life change? Sometimes when life gets difficult or big changes come about, it can take all your time. If you are going through a big life change, then it may not allow you to keep in touch like you want to.
Be honest and tell the person if any of these reasons apply to you and your life.
The focus today is on if you have been in touch with someone for awhile and you’re excited to talk but you want to tell them it’s hard for you to do so.
It may be letting them know that you don’t have time or things are keeping you from getting together, talking, or just keeping in touch in general.
What Can You Say In This Situation?
So you recognize that keeping in touch is something that you are struggling with.
You may not be good at this, or there may be something keeping you from talking like you’d like to.
What can you say?
We did an episode on this AEE 1268: Are You A Fairweather Friend?
It’s well worth checking out this episode, and here are some other helpful things to say if you find yourself in this situation.
- Something positive : If it’s been awhile or you’ve lost touch for any reason, then try to turn this negative into a positive. If you make the other person feel good or keep it positive and light, it can really help the situation dramatically. You could say something like “It’s so great to see you!” or “I’m so glad we ran into each other!”. You could even keep it simple and say “It’s great to catch up!”
- Express a desire to continue the connection: You want to let them know that you want to keep in touch. Even if you have temporarily lost touch, seeing them or talking to them helped you to refocus your efforts. You want to stay in touch moving forward, and so you want to tell them that. You could say something like “I’d love to stay in touch” or “It’d be great to talk more.”
- Be honest: Truly sometimes honesty is the best way to go. Just keep it real and tell them how you feel or why you lost contact with them. It is usually nothing personal and you being honest can help them to understand that. You could say something like “I’ve been so busy lately, so please excuse me if I ___________” (sometimes take a day or two to respond, can’t meet for a couple weeks, etc.) You could even be really honest and say something like “Staying in touch is not my **strong suit** but I really want to talk more.
- Give them a plan of action that is positive: You are putting actions behind your words. You are essentially telling them how you plan to keep in touch with them, and this really makes the other person feel good. You could say something as simple as “If you don’t hear from me please remind me!!” It may be something like “Seriously, get in touch because I’m sure I can do something this month!”
Talking It Through
Sometimes you just have to talk it through with the other person.
There are a lot of phrases you can use which might help, but in the end it’s about being honest.
The key is to make the other person feel valued and blame yourself for the lack of communication.
You can even be a little bit self deprecating, so long as it’s warranted.
Sometimes you have the best of intentions and you just might lack follow through.
Reflect on yourself and how often this happens, and you might find that there is an issue or pattern.
The goal is to be able to avoid these steps and traps so that you can get better at staying in touch.
Figure out what will help you moving forward such as setting reminders or alarms for reaching out to somebody.
Think of the things that will help you to be better about staying in touch, and then use these to make this a true priority in your life.
Takeaway
Be honest with people but don’t appreciate it if you are flaky with getting in touch.
Yes you are warning them but unless they are the same way, they may not understand your intention.
They may actually have a hard time understanding why your schedule is seemingly so much more important or busy than theirs is.
Be tactful with these phrases and try to understand why you are this way in the first place.
Take steps to improve, and this will help you with making and keeping connections that matter to you in your life.
If you have any questions, please leave them below in the comments section.
We’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
