In this episode, you will learn how you can be a supercommunicator!
Today, Lindsay interviews Pulitzer prize winner Charles Duhigg.
He has done extensive research about communication.
Supercommunicators can connect with anyone at any moment.
Listen in to learn three things that you can do to become a supercommunicator.
Charles Duhigg
Charles is the author of New York Time’s best seller book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and in Business.
He is also the author of Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business.
He is a staff writer at The New Yorker and was previously a reporter for the New York Times where he won a Pulitzer Prize for explanatory reporting in 2013.
He has appeared on This American Life, NPR, The Newshour with Jim Lehrer, and Frontline.
Charles lives in Santa Cruz, California.
His new book is Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.
The power of supercommunicators
Charles started research for this book because of his fascination with people who easily connect with others.
He initially thought that they were just born that way.
It may be because they are outgoing and extroverts and really have this super power to connect with others better than most of us.
When he started to research, he found that wasn’t the case.
He discovered that anyone can be a supercommunicator.
3 tips to become a supercommunicator
A series of skills can be learned that you have to practice until they become habits.
This unlocks not only a way for us to communicate but also to connect with anyone regardless of how much we have in common with them.
Lindsay fully agrees with this and finds that it is satisfying to us as human beings to connect with each other.
Charles adds that to make a connection, you need to have similar conversations, which is known as the matching principle in psychology.
A similar conversation falls into one of three buckets:
- Problem solving or making plans
- Sharing of emotions
- Social conversations
The best thing to start with is aligning your goals in a conversation.
You have to talk about something similar so there is no disconnect.
Be a supercommunicator
Charles shares three ways you can be a supercommunicator.
With these tips, you can start making more meaningful and strong connections.
#1: Ask questions
Charles noticed that supercommunicators always ask questions.
They are authentically curious and you get invested into the conversation.
When they ask questions they intently want to understand the person they are talking to.
For example, a salesperson who is the best communicator, has a dialogue because they show that they are interested in the goals of their clients.
They value that just as much as their goal of closing that sale.
This opens a conversation and you get to exchange ideas.
This creates a stronger connection.
#2: Prove that you’re listening
There is always the suspicion that this person is not listening.
The technique that Charles is introducing so you can prove you are listening to the person you’re talking to is looping the understanding.
You can do this in three steps:
- Ask a question to confirm what they are saying.
- Repeat back in your own words what you understood.
- Ask if you understood it correctly.
The other person will feel appreciated and this will make them open to listen to you too.
#3: Invest in the connection
There was a Harvard study that found a person is healthier when they are 65 or older if they had strong connections starting at age 45.
Creating time to cultivate and nurture connections is really important.
The main way to do that is to have meaningful conversations.
It can be easy to fall into a rat race where you just get busy and keep working and not make time to create fruitful relationships.
Takeaway
The biggest lesson is that anyone can be a supercommunicator in every language.
It’s not fluency or having the right accent.
It’s about being curious and making the conscious effort to connect with others.
It doesn’t matter what language you do that in, just start the conversation.
Then cultivate and nurture relationships that you align with.
What books or resources do you consume to become a good conversationalist?
Share it in the comments below.
Charles’ Bio
Charles Duhigg is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better. He is a staff writer at The New Yorker and was previously a reporter at the New York Times where he won a Pulitzer prize for explanatory reporting in 2013. A native of New Mexico, he studied history at Yale and received an MBA from Harvard Business School. He has appeared on This American Life, N.P.R., The Newshour with Jim Lehrer, and Frontline. He lives in Santa Cruz, CA.
